- Me: Is that a hickey
- Brother: NO.
- Me: That's totally a hickey. Did you get that from M? Are you together yet?
- Brother: What?
- Me: Also you should use oil-based concealer. That's how I hid mine.
- Dad and Brother: .........................
- Me: What?
- Dad: I worry that you're teaching him the wrong things.
- Me: So are you and M together yet?
- Brother: What no i have to go to the bathroom bye
- Me: Yeah right. Oh yeah, I can text M, since you know, I have her number. Just be like, "Hey M, did you give my brother that hickey? Also are you together yet?"
- Brother: What no don't okay YES OKAY
- Me: I knew it! I'll text M anyway. :D
- Dad: Bastos.
- Brother: Oh please don't tell me you texted her.
- Me: Nah, I don't have my phone.
- Brother: Where is your phone?
- Me: Upstairs, duh.
- Brother: DAMMIT
- Me: :D
- Brother: Ugh dad never noticed the hickey damn you
- Me: It was pretty obvious though. At least it wasn't as big as mine, which was purple and huge.
- Brother: Good for you.
- Me: Yeah, R liked biting. It was good. :)
- Brother: agh
- Brother: Well, your standards are pretty high.
- Me: Yeah well, I was about to lower them when I met S, who proved that that standard could be met. And then I met R, who proved that they could be surpassed. Why would I lower my standards if I know they already exist and are met by someone, somewhere?
garykendal said: What influenced your decision to make Desire from The Sandman androgynous? As in why did you decide to make them both androgynous and a sex symbol, rather than the usual sexuality through femininity that seems to be the most common in storytelling? I'm sorry if that makes no sense, it's very late and I'm kind of tired (which is probably why I managed to work up the nerves to talk to you).
It didn’t make sense to me to make Desire male or female. I started with the idea of someone who was attractive to you, whoever you are, and whatever sort of person you liked. And it seemed like Desire was much too big and important a concept to contain just one gender, or, for that matter, just two.
my brother and i were talking about dreams.
he wants a ferrari and disposable income.
i still don’t know what i want. it’s a one day at a time thing. but at the end, maybe a family. a love, a home. stability. stay.
well, it has been one year since goodbye, and it finally feels like a closed chapter. after so long.
passed by my (our) old stomping ground today, and there was no pain for once; just a lot of nostalgia.
thank you for everything i learned in the last year and a half, however difficult it has been. i have learned that intimacy to me is not found in sex but in the vulnerability in sleep; that vulnerability led to a love i never thought i had in me to give. even if our paths will never meet again, i will always treasure you for what you have taught in the short time we had together.
i’m different now. i lost a lot of me in the last year to a darkness that swallowed me whole and spat me out like the Ironborn and their Drowned God, and in the flames that burned me alive I learned to be stronger and tempered, like a sword in the forge. I may not have sharpened intellectually because I put my books aside in favour of nursing myself, but I learned more about emotions and vulnerability and how to embrace a side of me I pushed away. It’s not a bad thing.
Politically, I’m still a libertarian socialist, technically. I’ve learned the meaning of compromise and working within a system. I’ve learned, through my politics and the outspokenness required of the last week, which friends i would keep and which friends i would leave. Because of the politics of being a woman, of all things! I do not regret it.
My mind is coming back to me now; it no longer lingers in unwelcome and painful places. I can process painful truths again, those truths that are not mine directly, but are the truths of others that suffer. Politics and human rights will never be painless, but for the first time in a long time, I feel mentally stable enough to fight again.
Personally, I am recovering. And it’s getting better as the days pass, as I rediscover myself and see where I was versus where I am. Rebuilding has never been so difficult, but it will never be as rewarding when I am finally me again. Me, and whole, with new definitions of myself and new images, and new thoughts, and new loves. I feel new.
May this new strength continue.
Essays i want to write that have no particular importance in real life:
1. The importance of representation in media using Dorne’s House Martell and Ms Marvel (2014)’s Kamala Khan as examples
2. Daenerys’ conquering as Mhysa through Yunka’i and Meereen, and its similarities to imperialism, as well as the incompatibilities of ruling due to cultural differences, her White Saviour Complex, and the resulting identity crisis.
2a. Daenerys’ Mhysa complex and the frustrations felt by readers and viewers when dealing with Meereeneese culture. A response to this from the other side of the coin: someone among the invaded in response to the invader.
3. The questions on ruling styles focusing on the Great Houses Lannister, Targaeryen, Dorne, and Stark— their ruling styles, the loyalties of the people in their areas, and how their class systems (treatment of bastards, class mobility) affect their ruling styles and decisions.
4. A comparison of the Free Folk and the anarchists of the Spanish civil war— or for a stretch, the anarchists of today.
5. If I had the strategic and military prowess, an analysis of the great campaigns of the War of the 5 Kings, and the differing battle styles of the Wildlings, the Westerosi Kingdoms, the Targaryen Dragonriders, and the Rhoynar and Dornishmen.
Will I actually write them? TUNE IN NEXT TIME